Welcome to the Modern Slacker. Here you’ll find a melange of useless tidbits about the contemporary world of limited effort and low expectations. For all those who have ever had goals, but found the attainment of said goals too difficult and tiresome, this blog’s for you.
The Modern Slacker is a gentleman of leisure. He likely had ambition at some point, but those hopes and dreams of a naive youth were either crushed beneath life’s unrelenting boot-heel, or fell by the wayside as the amount of effort required to bring them to fruition was deemed far too taxing. Accepting, nay, embracing your underachieving is what the Modern Slacker is all about . . . at least philosophically.
The actual genesis of this idea stems from a much different place. While I once had dreams of the highest order, I now just find myself an embittered twenty-something, dangerously close to being an embittered thirty-something, with my dreams of world domination and fabulous wealth taking a backseat to my new dream of working without pants. In fact, I’d dare to call it the new American Dream.
So, after seeing a shaggy and disheveled youth on Conan one night who claimed “blogger” as his job, I decided to hop on that train. You are looking at the result. This little chunk of web real estate is home to the pointless musings of a disenfranchised late Gen-X/ early Gen-Y roustabout trying to make a modest amount of money from advertising revenue to support his dream of giving up his pointless retail job for the exciting career path of a pants-less blog-type-guy.
In the interest of full disclosure, I am telling you straight out the the point of this site is to sell out as hard and fast as possible. No illusions of artistic integrity here, just a desire to avoid stupid slacker retail jobs and a return to the nightmarish racket of higher education for an equally pointless and more stressful job. The mission statement: Make money from home, sans pants.
Will this be the beginning of a lucrative blogging empire or just another project I half-ass for a while, only to give up on without warning at some point? Only time will tell.
Free Advertising of the Week (FAOW)
The observant reader will also note the obtrusive, garish, and not-at-all discrete “Free Advertising of the Week” graphic at the top of the sidebar. This is a segment the blog was fundamentally designed around. The whole point is to advertise a product or service for free (they don’t pay me a dime or send any compensation initially). I do this advertising “on spec” in the hopes that the company will see it and send me some free crap. From beef jerky to crappy consumer electronics, the sky is the limit.
In true slacker fashion, the idea was blatantly ripped off, not once but twice. Johnny Knoxville was on Conan a few years back relating a story of cases of free beer he got once a week after wearing a Miller shirt on a previous Conan appearance. Conan himself even had a segment where he did little advertisements for comically viable products after telling us about shipments of free Pop Tarts he received after mentioning them on-air.
Now, while this upstart blog won’t have the readership to produce great results at first, I remain confident that in time, I too can have free crap. It happens with blogs frequently enough to warrant the semi-recent FTC disclosure mandates, so I think I can get a slice of that pie.
FAOW articles will be updated if a company actually hooks this brotha up. Those who don’t will face my eternal scorn and contempt.
Sometimes, though probably rarely, I will use that space to just show some support for a product or cause that I like, without any hope of free stuff. My altruism is limited, but from time to time, it may happen.
Have something to say? Think I care? Head over to the Contact section to get in touch with Modern Slacker for good tidings, criticism, hate mail, or advertising propositions to help me realize my pants-free dreams.