The Two Paragraphs Hate: Dude Capris (Manpris)

Didn’t know this was actually something other people hated too.  Just found out that I’m not the only one who noticed this ridiculous trend of Capri looking pants on dudes.  Also, just found out the term “manpris” has been coined to describe it.  Regardless of what you call them, this shit has to stop.  While my hatred began with mid-shin length plaid shorts that just look like Capris, I eventually started seeing pants that weren’t even disguising the fact that they were intended to be Capris for bros.


There are two types of pants: short pants, and long pants.  There is never practical reason for something in between.  It’s hot, you wear shorts; its cold, you wear long pants.  If it’s somewhere in between, pick one and deal with it like a man.   Frankly, unless you’re swimming, or hanging out in weather where jeans will produce ass or junk-sweat stains, go for some jeans of the non-skinny variety.  Clothing manufacturers have successfully marketed Capri pants to women to fill a nonexistent need for temperate weather attire because women are gullible and look for any excuse to buy more clothing.  As a man, you should be above that level of stupidity.  Wear them and lose credibility as a man.  Summary executions to follow for anyone who pairs them with a t-shirt/vest combo and Marc Ecko fedora.

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