The Two Paragraphs Hate: Introduce your damn self!

Quickly becoming one of my biggest pet peeves is the phone salutation, “Hey, it’s me.” People have been so spoiled by cell phones and caller ID for so long, that they now feel like this is an acceptable way to greet the person they are calling.  It’s not.  When I look at my work phone, I don’t see your name.  All I see is a dusty, ancient, poorly working hotbox for pestilence.

I’m glad you think I should immediately know your voice, random customer whom I’ve checked out twice.  Hey male employee, glad you don’t realize you sound just like every other male employee at this or any other store from the listening end of our shitty, low volume, high static antiques.  You aren’t James Earl Jones.  Darth fucking Vader* doesn’t have to introduce himself.  You do.  Furthermore, I expect James Earl Jones still introduces himself, as he strikes me as that kind of guy.  I have a deep, distinctive voice, and I still have the decency to introduce myself, by name, when I ring some mofos.  The rest of you douche-sacks don’t have any excuse.

*Note: Use of Star Wars reference does not constitute endorsement of Star Wars.  I give no shit, flying or otherwise about Star Wars.
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